I may be having a midlife crisis

I am in my late 30s and overall, life isn’t too bad. I like to think that while I may not be making waves, I’m not an embarrassment either. All the boxes are ticked: moderate success at work, amazing family, closely-knit and very kind social network. Life is good.

Recently, however, I have been growing more pensive about my ‘raison d’etre’ and questioning my place in this world.

I was at several social gatherings these past two weekends – a farewell party, a 40th birthday, a wedding. Each time, I was a comfortable outsider looking in.  In many ways I belonged to each group but did not feel the need to connect or reconnect with others.

Reflecting on that feeling made me realise how I have grown over the years. Gone is the awkward, late blooming adult wanting to fit in. In her place is an awkward middle aged woman who does not give a shit.

I told my husband about my numerous reflections about the past and present and he gently suggested (or perhaps I was the one that suggested to him) that I could be having a midlife crisis. And of course there is an  an online checklist/test*  to determine if you are having one. What can I say? The Internet delivers!

It seems, according to the online test, that I am not worried enough about my imminent demise. Nevertheless, I felt and still feel the need to put into words the experiences that I am going through at this stage of my life. Hence, this blog.

So here I am, hoping to live long, wondering how to age gracefully, and navigating new technology with difficulty. I am entering midlife with what I hope is a healthy dose of fear and enough optimism to get me through.

I started this blog because I don’t want to go through my ”midlife crisis” alone. Please join me. I know you are out there, my compatriots in transition – the once young, soon to be old, currently fabulous.

[*For those who are a bit clueless, the online test is obviously a joke]